Can you say “Conviction”???

This morning we started off a little slow.   Pictures and swimming will wear some people out! HA!

Apparently someone woke up in the middle of the night, and daddy can’t resist cuddling with his girls :)  So I woke up to these twinkies…


Momma and these two played until the sleepy heads woke up!


Then we headed to church.  The message was amazing and extremely convicting.  Not that I like to feel convicted.  I’m not a fan of squirming in my seat because I think the pastor has some direct link to God and knows all of my shortcomings, and then decides to call me out in front of the whole congregation.  OK. He may not have done that, but it certainly felt like it.

One of his opening questions/points of the sermon was this?

“If you were to pull one of your children aside, and ask them who/what mommy and daddy loved the most, what would they say?”
Let that marinate in your brain for a minute.

Like, WHOA.  I immediately started scrambling through all of the things Mia may say, and God wasn’t on the top of the list.  Mom.FAIL.  WOW.

Reality check.

How am I supposed to get her to love God above all else, if she doesn’t see her daddy and I doing that?  So I asked Dave what he thought her answer may be and he said “She’s gonna say her.”

When we picked her up from her class, I asked her.  “Mia, what does mommy and daddy love the MOST?” She replied “ME!”
I am certainly comforted to know that she is secure in our love for her, but I little disappointed in myself for not showing her who we should really love the MOST.
I can’t sit here and lie and say “Oh, I love God way more than my kids” because that would just not be accurate.  This is a hard hard pill to swallow.  It is so hard because my kids are here.  I see them and love on them every day.  Physically.  And although I know, deep down that they are not MINE, He gave them to me to bring up to know and love Him, it is still SO hard to put anything above them.  It has to be a constant desire.  I can not just simmer, as a Christian.  I need to be ACTIVELY searching Him and loving Him.  The One who gave me these beautiful gifts.  And it is HARD.

God never said it would be easy, I understand that.  But we humans, Christians, tend to seek the easy road, the comfortable journey.  Forget about Him when the road is easy and then seek Him out when the going gets tough.  I am talking to myself.

Does anyone else struggle with this?  Does your faith go through peaks and valleys?

Such a great, eye-opening Sunday.

He had many other, gut wrenching points, but I’ll just leave you with that question.

“If you pulled one of your children aside, asked them who/what mommy and daddy loved the most, what would they say?”

If you would like to see the rest of the sermon, you can view it here

TTC update

One day, when you click on this link, I will be able to show you an ultrasound picture.  But not right now, not today.

It has been 1 year and 4 months since I posted that we would start trying again.  Although I can’t technically say we’ve been actively trying since then, because honestly, we have taken a few months worth of *breaks*.  However, we have done a couple of rounds of clomid, with obviously no success yet.  It gets very frustrating to continually get a BFN.  I get bitter and jealous and sad every month.

Wait.  I should say I was bitter and jealous, because now?  I’m totally fine with it.  After I wrote my post about God giving me those two little words: IN CONTROL, I have had a strong sense of peace come over me.  I have completely “let go” of control and have handed it over to God.  I told him that I was completely happy with whatever his will was for me and I accept it.  Every since praying that prayer and turning it over to Him, I have had so much relief.  Why?  Because I know that His will is far more superior to mine and I already have the best gift ever!  My daughter!  Why should I complain about wanting another child when He already gave me a perfectly beautiful and healthy one?  One that I absolutely adore, that is!

“In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,”  Ephesians 1:11



Honestly, now that I have this new found relief, I am glad that I don’t have another one just yet.  God told me to be patient and enjoy the one I had.  I can honestly say I am absorbing every ounce of time I spend with her.  I want to make absolutely sure she has my undivided attention and love during these only-child years.  When God is ready for her to be a big sister, He will inform me :)

“…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Philippians 4:11



God’s timing and plan is PERFECT and I trust in Him.  It feels so good to let go of my control (that I thought I had) and give it to my Father!



“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

In control.

MY word(s) for this year is(are) In Control.  God, that is, in control.
I was listening to the radio yesterday when they were discussing their *word* that God had given them.  They were talking of how that word applied to their season of life and how it came to them.  God talks to me, but I’ve never had a word per se.

I sat down during my quiet time and before I even opened my bible, I prayed that God would speak to me and give me a word, or words, that I needed to hear or know.  I prayed that before I opened my bible He would search my heart and lead me to the scripture that I was needing the most in my life. With eyes closed, I opened the back of my bible where the topics were and pointed.  I opened my eyes to the words “In Control.”  These words were under the heading of “God is…”
For those of you who know me, I am a control freak.  I like to determine every path my life takes, every situation I am in, how things turn out, etc.  Being *in control* is something that I have definitely struggled with over the years, and still to this day.  God has continually shown me that He is in control, usually by a series of events that I did not plan or want to happen, and everything turns out just the way it should be.  If He is constantly proving this to me, why can’t I just go with His plan?  Why do I have to constantly try to control every situation or outcome?  I blame it on the immaturity of my spiritual life.
I love God, but I am the first one to admit that I fail Him daily.  Of course I pray, have quiet time, believe in Him, go to church, listen to Christian music, but I still have *lots* of spiritual growing to do.  As does everyone, I think.
I am certain that God had to bring to my attention, yet again, that He is in control, by pointing that out to me.  It was like He physically took my finger to that certain page, and placed it on those words.  I got a full body chill when I opened my eyes to see what *the words* were.  These are definitely my words for the year.

I am going to try my very hardest (it goes against every.grain.in.my.body. to let go of control) to give up the control that I thought I had in my life and hand it all over to the Lord, for He knows my plan.  He knows the needs/wants of my heart and He will give to me what He sees fit. Just like we raise and shape our children and although they may not agree or like what we choose, WE know what is best for them and only want what is best for our children.  I am just like a rebellious teenager to my Father in heaven, who thinks she knows it all and has it all together.
Philippians 3:20-21 say: But our citizenship is in heaven.  And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.
I am giving up control.  What is your *word*??

Merry Christmas

From our family to yours!

We hope you all have a wonderful day full of family, food and fun and that we never lose sight of the real reason we are celebrating!
Thank you God for giving the ultimate sacrifice for us so that we may live eternally with you!