The flood…

Of emotions. 
Has officially hit.

As we are nearing the end of this pregnancy, I have SO many emotions running rampant in my head.  The other day on the way home from work, I had a sudden strike of water works.  The UGLY cry. 
The whole.way.home.

I was crying out of sadness, happiness and abnormal fear.

Sadness because, at this point, I am not certain we will do this whole have-another-baby thing.  I say I am done, but when I think about this being the last time I will feel a baby move inside me, the last ultrasound I will have, it makes me sad.  It’s like the end of an era.  I don’t know that I’m ready for a barren uterus.
Sadness because I don’t want Mia to ever feel like she wasn’t enough.  She has always been enough. She is the light of my life and I couldn’t love her anymore.  I wanted to give her a sibling, a friend for life, when her parents have left this world.  I wanted to give her someone to play with, laugh with, fight with and love unconditionally.  Just at this moment, I feel sadness thinking she may feel, replaced. I don’t want anyone to forget about her in the happiness of Finley.  However, I don’t want anyone to not love Finley as much as they love Mia.  I want both of my girls to be loved and cared for, equally.
Sadness because at this point, I want to know I will love both of them the exact same.  Honestly, right now, I can not imagine loving someone as much as I love Mia.  I know I will be able to, and everyone says it just happens.  And I am sure that is the case, but it’s hard to imagine until we are there.

Happiness because I just know this sweet girl will rock my world!  I am overwhelmed with the sense of gratitude and thankfulness to God for blessing us abundantly.  Way more than we deserve.  This pregnancy has been a complete joy and I am so excited to welcome this baby girl into our crazy lives!
Happiness because I know what we are getting ready enter.  A cuddly little baby, first coos, smiles, slobbery kisses and just unexplainable love. 
Happiness to know my heart is getting ready to double in size, instantaneously. 

Utter fear because of our history.  I pray to God everyday that this sweet wee one will not have to endure what Mia did at birth, or even through the first year.  I just want everything to go smoothly and take a baby home with me when I go home.  Some people just do not understand.  And I don’t wish that feeling on anyone. They take it for granted to just get pregnant, deliver and healthy baby, go home and move on with their lives.  They just assume that is how it all goes. I hope no one has to understand anything other than the normal. Not so much over here. 
The doctors say that none of that will happen again.  It was a fluke.  One in a million they told me.  And I believe them.  I trust God with the children He has given me.  I just want, so badly, for everything to go smoothly and to have a healthy happy baby that we get to bring home with us. 
We will.  I know it.  God is good, ALL THE TIME.  These children are His, their lives are His plan, I just have to trust Him and let it go.
Easier said than done.  Pray for me?

39 weeks:

The past few days…

We are trying to get everything done and items crossed off the list, before D-day.  If you know me at all, check lists are my BF’s!

 

Mia had her dentist appointment, and of course, the time I can’t take her, she sits in the chair for the first time AND lets them use the buffer tool thing!

 

Where did my little baby go??

 

I also had to squeeze in  my last minute hair and eyebrow appointment.  I didn’t want to get it done to early, but I did wait very late.  I kept saying, I can NOT go into labor or my water break until I get my hair done!  HAHA!!  But, I made it, so she can come any time now :)

THAT, is a belly people!!

We got in our final grocery trip before miss Finley decides to show up…

This sweet girl was so good, she got a sucker!

 

Our Sammy girl is even getting in some QT before little sister arrives!

 

We went and had dinner with my parents…

Grilled chicken salad and GRAPE JUICE, not wine ;)

 

And finally, I’ve been really, really, soaking in this sweet time with my big girl!

 

Ok Finley, you may grace us with your presence!

Details, details

So I am 38 weeks and 1 day today!  YAY!!

 

***Yes, I know she is low.  She always has been. And yes, she has dropped even further. Trust me, I can FEEL this!***

We had our doctor appointment today and the doctor seems to think Finley will weigh about 8 pounds!  ::GASP::

Remember, Mia was 5-13?! Holy crap how am I going to push this kid out??

My blood pressure looks great and my weight gain is still within normal limits.  I am gaining about 1 lb. per week, all which I think are now going to Finley, or my exploding boobs! HAHA!

Doctor said I am 2cm and 50% effaced.  I was 3cm and like 80% at this point with Mia, but I think Finley is enjoying herself in the womb, getting fed plenty, where as Mia probably wanted out of my hostile uterus! HA :)

If I don’t go into labor on my own, they will most likely induce me next WEDNESDAY!!!

HOLD ME!

Stuff just got real. HAHA!!

 

The first thing the doctor said when she came in the room was “You look, BIG!” Um, thanks??  Then she measured me and said “Well, you aren’t as big as you look.” Thanks, again?! Whatev.  I will take a healthy, plump baby ANY DAY, over what we dealt with with Mia!

You guys?! I may actually have a baby with rolls!!!  EEEKK :)

So SO pumped to hold my baby girl!!!

Girl time, Olive Garden and ABF

Yesterday my sweet friend Dana and I went and had some girl time getting mani and pedi’s!  It was such a relaxing time, to get pampered and have adult girl conversation, even if it was just for 2 hours!  I am getting myself all prepared for this new baby girl.  Now all I have to do is make it to my hair appointment on Friday and I’ll be completely ready :)

After girl time, we went home and got ready and then met back up with Dana, her husband Brandon and their sweet little princess Addilyn!  We had some yummy dinner at Olive Garden, followed by some hanging out at our house.  The whole time we were eating, Mia kept asking “Momma, Addy come over to our house?”  She was so excited.  Now that Addy is a little older and can run and play with Mia, she really loves playing with her!  So thankful to have such sweet friends!

 

I just realized that I didn’t take any pictures this weekend.  What a boring post, with no pictures!

Today, we got back to church and ABF after missing the past few weeks.  With all of the holidays and my (I take full responsibility) laziness, it felt good to get back!  I so missed all of the fellowship with some really great couples! 

Any more, if I’m not working, it takes a stick of dynamite to get me up and going.  I just feel so tired all of the time.  I work a 12 hour shift and it wipes me out for a day or two!  That’s ok though, only a couple more weeks!!

After church a few of us couples went out for lunch at one of our favorite lunch places, McAlister's!  I love spending time with a bunch of couples in our stage of life, who hold the same morals and values and who love you for you.  We all have our own life stuff going on and it’s nice to know you have people who are there for you and that you can be there for them.  We are so blessed to have them in our lives!

Once we got done with lunch, Daddy had to run by the tattoo parlor to schedule his “Finley” tattoo appointment!  If you know my husband, he has a huge “Mia” tattoo on his forearm, complete with a big princess crown on the letter M.  Now he has to add Finley’s name on the inside of the same forearm for his second little princess!!

 

Now I guess I better go squeeze in a nap, Finley is requesting it.  And this momma?  Grants her wish ;)

New Year and 37 weeks!

I can’t believe I didn’t take one.single.picture on New Years Eve, but I was in the moment.  We had a low key night that started with dinner with Meme, Poppy, Ben, Nuna, Kyle, Nancy and Mia’s favorite boys! After dinner we all put on some comfy clothes and played games at our house to ring in the new year!  It was also Meme’s birthday, so we had some yummy dessert to eat at the house.  I am so incredibly thankful for another year with my momma!  We love her so so much and hope and pray for many many more years to come!!  Life is so short and you are never promised another day, so I am thankful for each and every day I get with my loved ones!

My favorite moment of 2012 (among many!)…

Finding out this girl would be a big sister.  To a healthy little sister :)

Sammy girl started her new year out right with steak and chicken breast for breakfast!  What a good daddy she has :)



New Years Day, we did absolutely nothing.   We stayed in our PJ’s all day, played some candy land and watched some movies.  Meme, Pops and Ben stopped by for a bit to visit and play some card games!  It was a rainy, cold and gray day, so it was a perfect day to stay in and cuddled up!  Not gonna lie, I love me some lazy days :)

The epitome of lazy…

Laying on the couch in your jams, watching country music videos, eating an apple!  HAHA!  A girl after her momma’s own heart!

Today we had our 37 week ultrasound (to check for growth, since Mia was so small, although Finley has been measuring perfectly) and dilation check up.  I went in with the thought that if she weighed about 6 lbs. right now, that would be good and average.  Well not only did we get to see that little ones beautiful face, but we also found out that she is weighing in at about 7lbs 4oz right now!!!  NOW, the US is about plus or minus ONE pound, so she could be anywhere from 6-4 to 8-4!  I’m thinking more along the lines of 6ish, but still, I was ecstatic to find out that this girl is growing like she should!!  Mia put her momma and daddy through the ringer!  We feel so blessed and are so so thankful for this little bundle!

Here is Mia’s nose/lips (on the left) compared to Finley’s nose/lips (on the right)

Can you see that?  I think they look pretty similar, but also different!  I hope they both have their own little look, although looking like big sis wouldn’t be a bad thing, considering she is pretty stinking cute ;)

Ears. Finley left, Mia right


For the most part I am feeling pretty good still.  I am exhausted and out of breath most of the time and can’t quite get comfortable, but other than that, I’m hanging right in!  I said I wasn’t in any rush to have her, but after seeing her today, and packing the hospital bags, I’m so excited to get to meet and hold her!!  Still not in a hurry, just excited!  She will be here soon enough and will be a big girl before I know it. 

In the meantime, I am going to enjoy every last second with this girl before she is a big sister…

I have thoroughly enjoyed the last 3.5 years with just Mia.  I am so thankful for this girl, my first born princess and the one who stole my heart.

I love my girls!!