You know? Just talking to God

So I’ve been struggling this past week.  With family, parenting, etc.  I have been praying, believing, reading and everything else I can think of to help me through these trying times.  I do think, however, it is interesting how when you are in the middle of a storm, God finds ways to talk to you.  No, I don’t actually “hear” His voice, but He puts you in just the right place at just the right time to get His point across.

For example, I turned on Joel Olsteen today and the sermon he was preaching on was “God is in control of your storm.”  Hello??  He knew just what I needed to hear at that moment.  I listened to the whole message and walked away feeling a sense of peace that I hadn’t had.

I have also been struggling lately with Mia and her behavior.  I’ve mentioned multiple times before that she is VERY strong willed, independent, sassy and “spirited.” She pushes my patience to the MAX every. single. day.  Don’t get me wrong, she is an absolute gift from God that I love more than life itself, but this stage?  Is exhausting.  I feel like I spend more time correcting her and disciplining her more than just being with her and playing with her.  I want to have a well behaved child.  I want to be a great mom.  But honestly?  I feel like I’m failing.

When I opened my reader to catch up on blogs today, Kelly over at Kelly’s Korner blog had posted this link about raising, not a “good” child, but a “Godly” child.  I also desperately needed to hear this.  If you are a parent, you NEED to read this.

God is just my every day BFF, chatting it up with me lately.  And I? Am so so grateful, because I certainly am not strong enough to handle all of this on my own :)

This.

Is what is getting me through right now...

Such an unfathomable love.

28

So here’s the thing.  Twenty eight years ago today, God brought my soul mate into this world.  My best friend and husband was born.  I literally can not imagine my life without him.  The mere thought of not having him in my life is suffocating.  So today, I celebrate the life and birthday of my wickedly handsome, super hard working and crazy loving man in my life!



David Huff, you amaze me.  I am so fortunate to have you in my life.  I love you more than you will ever know!



Here’s to 28 more years…


Happy happy birthday lover, you still make me feel all giddy inside!  :)

A Challenge

When people tell me that 3 is harder than 2, they are.not.lying. 

I didn’t believe it when Mia turned two, but the closer we get to the big THREE, I am a believer.  She is very sweet one minute and the next a complete mess.  She is trying to assert her independence ON.EVERY.ISSUE.  Whether it be potty training, clothes to wear, what to eat, how much to eat, where to sit, etc. it’s always a battle.  I have said it from the beginning that she has a very strong will (which is mostly a good thing), but unfortunately for her, she has a momma with an even stronger will :)  Everything is “MINE!” or “NO!” or “That’s MIA’S!”  She may have a mild hearing loss, but she acts completely deaf when I try to correct her.  She could be sitting 2 feet away and act like she doesn’t hear one thing I’m telling her.  Oh, this is gonna be fun! HA!

With the way it is looking now, we will be in a full on battle during the teenage years.  But guess what? I’m momma and momma wins.  I know it will be hard, but parenting IS hard.  From the famous words of my mom’s mouth:  It would be easy to let her do what she wanted. It’s hard to discipline your child. I am NOT here to be her friend.  I am here, first and foremost, to be her mommy.  To guide her and shape her, to discipline her and to lead her down the right path.  It may be a hard journey there, but I’ve got my eye on the prize=her future. 

I love my lady so much that I want THE VERY BEST for her, and if that means she can NOT stand me during the teenage years, I’ll take it!  And?  That must mean I’m doing something right :)  I wasn’t my mom’s number one fan when I was a teen either, but now she is my very best friend and I am so thankful for the way she raised me.

If I was privileged enough to receive this precious gift from God, the very least I can do for Him is to raise this child up to be a God fearing, God loving, respectful human being.

Mia Camille Huff, I love you more than you will ever know.  You are my precious gift from above and I promise to raise you up in the way you should go!
“You don’t understand it now, but when you get older and have kids, you will understand!”-Mom
I DO understand now.  Thank you mom for drilling that into my brain :)
What age do you think was the hardest?  Any tips for tackling the 3’s without losing my mind?

3 girls and a guy

Mia and I had a playdate today. We met our good friends Lori (with Brinlee), Christy (with Nadia) and Tiffani (with Jase) for lunch and then play time at a local indoor kids gym.  We did have some other boys who were invited but unable to make it, so Mr. Jase got to be the ladies man today :)


So excited about seeing her friends!


The girly girls.  Mia, Brinlee and Nadia

The kids absolutely love the indoor gym and surprisingly, Mia went down a slide and did more than I thought she was going to with new new found fear of heights!




I know it’s not a big slide, but at least she is doing it!  I had to snap a picture!




Sweet boy Jase :)




Brinlee helping Mia out of the foam pit.  It’s a good thing Brinlee was there because I wouldn’t have been able to help her! 


Judging from that face, I’d say our day was a success!

What we did this weekend

Actually, we didn’t do much.  Dave had to work Saturday, so Mia and I went out to eat with Meme, Poppy, B, Kyle, Noona, Charlie and Brody!  Since my work schedule changed, Mia and the boys hadn’t seen each other very much lately, and they really missed each other!

Throwing pennies into the fountain and making wishes :)


After we ate, we all came back over to Meme and Poppy’s house to hang out and let the kiddos play!


Meme and her girl!
We had a good night, but we definitely missed daddy!

This morning we headed out to church and then to Target, because of my mother-of-the-year award allowed me to run out of diapers.  Yep, she wore the last one to church today.  I know, I’m awesome. HA!


We came home from Target and ALL 3 of us took a 2 hour nap!  We love us some naptime in the Huff House :) I was supposed to go to work tonight, but got cancelled thank goodness!  Now we are all chilling on the couch together waiting for all of these storms we are supposed to be getting…

And just because she’s so sweet…


She rubs lotion on her baby and says “you’re all better!”


Hold me.  My baby now eats the whole apple, NOT cut up, like a big child.  I’ve never been a fan of allowing this because I’m so scared she may choke, but she absolutely loves eating the apple like a big girl. Trust me, I didn’t leave her side for a second :)

Have a great week!

Dear Me

Dear 10 year old me,
You are going to have a tough year.  You think you are weak, but you are strong.  Everything that happens this year helps to mold you into the person you will become.  Keep your values and trust in Jesus. No matter what anyone thinks, you have God and a family who loves you unconditionally.

Dear 14 year old me,
This year you are going to meet a boy. A special boy who makes your heart explode.  A boy who will make you feel all giddy inside.  Hold on to this boy, because he will give you some of the best years of your life. He will be your best friend, your shoulder to cry on and your better half.  God made him specifically for you.

Dear 18 year old me,
That same boy who you met 4 years ago is the love of your life.  However, get your brain together and put school first.  College IS your future with him.  If you let him take a back burner for just a couple of years, you can get done and get married and live the life you’ve always wanted.  Stay strong sister.

Dear 22 year old me,
Ah!  It’s the boy again.  But this year?  You marry him.  Your soul mate becomes your husband.  Cherish him.  He is your world and loves you so much.  Enjoy your time together as a married couple.  That first house you live in?  Don’t rush to buy a newer, bigger house.  It’s totally overrated.  Life is not about what you have, but WHO you have.

Dear 25 year old me,
You and that boy, make a beautiful life together.  God blesses you with the best gift you will ever receive.  As soon as you meet her, her little life almost slips through your fingers.  Trust Jesus.  Never lose your faith.  God loves you and he loves her. He has the best plan for your lives and those do not include plans to harm you.  Give it all to him.

Dear future me,
Please please please stay strong in your faith.   Try to always see the good in people.  Do NOT waste so much of your life/time worrying.  You are so blessed, don’t EVER forget it.  Raise your girl to have morals and values and to love the Lord above all else.  Spend lots of quality time with your loved ones, you never know when you last day with them will be.  Tell the people that you love just how much you love them.  I could never get tired of hearing my loved ones tell me how much they love me!  Speak kindly to everyone.  Forgive often.  Love your life-this journey is yours on purpose.

Ben’s 15th Birthday!!

My baby brother, yes baby, turned 15 today.  This makes me almost as sad Mia getting ready to turn 3.  It’s hard to believe that this time next year he will be getting ready to drive!  I feel like I am in a time warp.

 

We started out today with Mia going to school and Dave and I ran some errands.

 

 

After we picked Mia up from school, we headed to our “go-to” default restaurant for every celebration, Sapporo's.  This is by far the best place to eat sushi. We go there so often that we know the owner and the head sushi chef by name.  They know us and what we order every time!

 

 

Eating her rice with chopsticks :)

 

 

The birthday boy with the chefs personal creation just for him!  It was, of course, delicious!

 

Happy Birthday to the best little brother and greatest uncle in the world.  We love you so very very much!

Neat things.

You know you’re married and/or a parent when your Friday night consists of grocery shopping and a trip to the bookstore!  HA!  I wouldn’t have it any.other.way.  Plus, we found some really neat things.

 

First stop:  Whole Foods

 

Has anyone ever heard of these drinks?  Dave had been reading up on these and the health benefits of them, so when they had them on sale BOGO free, we bought some.  They have many health benefit claims but there is limited evidence.  I must say that they smell like vinegar and don’t have much better of a taste :)  I did grow on me toward the end of the bottle.  It’s definitely an acquired taste!!

 

 

They had Mia’s bars on sale!  YAY!  Her Clif bars were only $.69!!  She loves them and thinks they are candy bars ;) 

 

 

I also found these cool smoothie packs-on sale!  Can’t wait to try them!  Whole Foods was having such a great sale!

 

Next stop was:  Lifeway Bookstore

 

My two books that I got.  For anyone who knows me, I have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember.  My earliest memory of fear/anxiety was when I was about 6 years old. I was constantly terrified that my parents would die.  I don’t know what it stems from, but it is something that I have battled for a long time.  I’ve tried medicine, therapy, relaxation techniques and obviously praying.  When I calm myself down, the anxiety just creeps right back up within minutes.  It is a constant battle.  Someone on Twitter mentioned the “Calm My Anxious Heart” book, so I immediately went out to buy it!  I have gotten better, but I want to be anxiety-free!

 

Guess who’s book this is?  My ADD husband?  Yep, you guessed it!  He said he needed the comic-book-type bible to keep him really focused during his quiet time.  Hey, whatever works right?

 

Mia’s new book.  It’s like the kid version of “The Story.”  I actually love reading her this book because some things in the bible are over my head, but this simplifies and explains.  Right on my learning level :) HA!

 

Yep, that was pretty much our Friday night.  And you know what?  It was awesome.

Update and Elevator pitch

I had my HIDA scan today and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected it to be.  It was just incredibly boring lying still for an hour and a half!  Good news is: it’s over.  Bad news: my gallbladder isn’t exactly up on it’s functioning game.  Well, I guess that could be good news as well.  I’ve been having an aching, gnawing pain in the pit of my stomach, as well as a baseline nausea, all day, every day for the past, oh, 10 months or so.  Needless to say, I am thankful that I have an answer. 

 

Again, I am thankful for God and His plan.  He knew that I would be *absolutely miserable* for 9-10 months while pregnant, hence the reason I haven’t gotten preggo yet:)  Now, I can have my gallbladder removed and have my laparoscopy at the same time and *hopefully* have a pleasant pregnancy afterward! 

 

In other news, I’ve started in a 31 day Blogging challenge.  The book I bought is 31 Days to Build a Better Blog, and I have joined the SITS girls forums to help with this and to also connect with other bloggers.  The first day challenge is to come up with an “elevator pitch.”  What is my blog about?  Who is my audience I am trying to reach?  I am getting ready to start brainstorming for my elevator pitch, with the help of the hubby’s creative juices, that is!

 

What do you think it should be?

Not a fan.

THIS.

HIDA scan

So I worked ALL.WEEKEND. and thought I would just drop in to say hey!  Tomorrow I have a HIDA scan scheduled to look at my gallbladder.  I've been having some problems with it, so now we will find out for sure!

Honestly, I'm hoping it IS my gallbladder, that way I can have it taken out BEFORE I get pregnant and have to be stuck feeling miserable for 9-10 months.

Has anyone ever had a HIDA scan?  I've heard it's not very pleasant, to say the least.

Wish me luck!

TTC update

One day, when you click on this link, I will be able to show you an ultrasound picture.  But not right now, not today.

It has been 1 year and 4 months since I posted that we would start trying again.  Although I can’t technically say we’ve been actively trying since then, because honestly, we have taken a few months worth of *breaks*.  However, we have done a couple of rounds of clomid, with obviously no success yet.  It gets very frustrating to continually get a BFN.  I get bitter and jealous and sad every month.

Wait.  I should say I was bitter and jealous, because now?  I’m totally fine with it.  After I wrote my post about God giving me those two little words: IN CONTROL, I have had a strong sense of peace come over me.  I have completely “let go” of control and have handed it over to God.  I told him that I was completely happy with whatever his will was for me and I accept it.  Every since praying that prayer and turning it over to Him, I have had so much relief.  Why?  Because I know that His will is far more superior to mine and I already have the best gift ever!  My daughter!  Why should I complain about wanting another child when He already gave me a perfectly beautiful and healthy one?  One that I absolutely adore, that is!

“In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,”  Ephesians 1:11



Honestly, now that I have this new found relief, I am glad that I don’t have another one just yet.  God told me to be patient and enjoy the one I had.  I can honestly say I am absorbing every ounce of time I spend with her.  I want to make absolutely sure she has my undivided attention and love during these only-child years.  When God is ready for her to be a big sister, He will inform me :)

“…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Philippians 4:11



God’s timing and plan is PERFECT and I trust in Him.  It feels so good to let go of my control (that I thought I had) and give it to my Father!



“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

I have a growth

I mean, not like a tumor or anything.  Just a crazy growing kid.  When I put her 2T jeans on her this morning (ahem, her high-water 2T jeans), I realized I hadn’t posted any updates on Mia recently.  This is purely for my memory purposes.
Mia, you are weighing in right around 29-30 lbs.  You have been hovering around this weight for about 6 months or so, despite your crazy appetite!  However, I have noticed that all of your jeans are becoming *short* to say the least.  I had to go out and buy you 3T jeans and they fit perfectly in length but are huge around your waist! HA!
Your talking has increased exponentially over the past few months.  You know speak in sentences and you do it all.the.time.  There are not many “quiet” times during the day, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I love hearing you talk!
Just over the past couple weeks, your potty training has really improved!  I basically let you run around the house naked or with panties on and keep your potty in the living room so that you have easy access to it!  When you use the potty, you get skittles.  One skittle for pee pee and two skittles for poo. Needless to say, you’re not getting many skittles at a time these days :)  One day after you used the potty you were telling me that you wanted “beans.”  I had no idea what you were talking about so I let you *show* me.  You were talking about the skittles! HA!  I have no clue where you got that from, but whatever works!


You know all of your body parts, almost all of your colors, all of your basic shapes (with the exception of ones like octagon), most all animals and their sounds AND can count to 20!  Every now and then you miss a number or so, but for the most part you can do it!  It amazes me how much of a sponge your little brain is.  You pick up things and say words that I didn’t even know you knew!

You are very mothering.  You love to talk to your babies, change their (dipe-ahs), rock them, feed them and kiss their boo boos!  You also put them in time-out and spank them every now and then ;)  You also like to kiss my boo boos.  All it takes is for me to say “ouch” and you say “You ok momma?  I kiss it!”

You are boy crazy over Justin Beiber!  I didn’t think it would set in this early, but you love him!  Daddy downloaded your favorite song of his “Baby” on your iPod and you listen to it no less than 5 times per day.  I actually used to like that song, but it has officially worn out it’s welcome in my ears and brain. HA!

Your favorite TV show is STILL Mickey Mouse.  When I say I am burnt out, it is an *understatement*!!! You are to the point now where you will answer all of their questions!

Your favorite food is chicken and fruit.  You used to not be picky at all, but you are really starting to assert your independence on what you eat.  The only two things that you have never phased out is chicken and fruit.  And you love them.  You may very well turn into a chicken!

You still sleep in your crib because a) you never try to climb out and b) I don’t want to end up with a toddler in my bed every night :)  You are still on a good sleep schedule, sleeping about 10-12 hours each night and taking about a 1-2  hour nap each day.

Your attitude?  WOW!  I definitely think 3 is going to be harder than 2.  You want to be independent so badly that you are acting out and back talking.  If I say “no” you keep doing whatever it was I told you NO for all while looking at me, almost *daring* me to stop you.  When I correct you, you look away.  I would hold your face toward me while disciplining you and you would turn your eyes away from me.  Actually, you don’t mind be disciplined at all.  You don’t cry when I spank you or put you in timeout.  I’m running out of things to try. You are truly testing me these days.  With all that being said, you are not a *bad* little girl, you are just acting your age.  And despite all of your new found independence, you are also an absolute sweet heart!



Every day that I have with you is a gift from God.  I love spending time with you and watching you grow. You are my pride and joy and I love you more than you will ever know!

Girl time

To keep Mia occupied while I was getting ready this morning, I let her play in my make-up.  She loves to do this, but I only allow her to when I need to get ready because she makes such a mess of the bathroom AND her face!  Desperate times call for desperate measures.

She looked cute even with her bed head and all :)


It was an all girls day today!  Mia and I met our friends Lori with her daughter B and Christy with her daughter Nadia for lunch and zoo time!  Since it was in the 50’s today we wanted to get outside.  I don’t think there will be too many more days like this here soon.

How sweet is this?  The girls all wanted to hold hands while we were walking around the zoo!  It is so nice to have some girl friends (her age) for Mia, especially when they have some pretty awesome mommas ;)


Checking out the gorillas.


They all liked watching the baby polar bear.  This is the same one I blogged about before.  She is so active and fun to watch!


Momma and her lovey :)


My little chicken!  I’m not quite sure what has happened lately, but Mia *refuses* to go down any slides or even climb up to the top to get to the slide.  When she does climb a few steps, she gets down on her hands and knees and crawls, as if she is scared to be up high. I have noticed this fear of heights over the past 6 months or so.  Not sure if this is a little innate phobia of hers or a learned trait from a scary memory?

We had a great nap after the zoo, then Mia and I had dinner and now we are gonna cuddle and watch some Toy Story!  Thank you Lord for this perfect day :)

Hope you had a great day!

Red Robin, Dentist, 5K

Let me go back just a little bit, because I have some cute pictures of the girl! 

Saturday we went to Buffalo Wild Wings and watched the UL game!  Cutest little cardinal fan ever!
We then went to Meme and Poppy’s house to hang out and play games!

How cute is that face?  She wanted to play sooo bad.

Pretty sure I had the “monopoly!”
Sunday we went to church, where in worship and bible study heard and awesome message and really felt God talking to me.  That is the best feeling. Ever.
After church we stopped by Cheddars to have some lunch.

Waiting for her food with daddy!  This is right about her nap time.  Can you tell?

Isn’t that the biggest “kids meal” you’ve ever seen?  Needless to say, she had dinner from that too!
Y’all?  My girl loves to eat.  The first thing she says every morning when we get her out of bed, is *not* “good morning,” but instead, “momma, I wanna eat!”  Must run in this family! HA!

Our dessert!  Absolutely delicious AND sinful.
I was supposed to work last night but I got cancelled again.  Our census is SO low right now that we are only using 6, SIX, nurses.  We need some women to have some babies, ASAP!  Although I needed to work, I enjoyed being at home and relaxing with my loves.
Today was a busy day for sure.  We had an appointment at 10 this morning and then ran to the mall to get something to eat before heading to Mia’s dentist appointment.  We got Mia her favorite grilled chicken nuggets from Chick-fil-A and mommy a sweet tea!

Next stop:  Glitter!  Have you ever heard of this store?  It is an accessory store, kind of like Claire's, but all of their accessories are only $1!!  Mia loves this store and so do I because it is a cheap, fun little treat for her.  And since she is a princess and all…

She needed some new bracelets and necklaces :)
We ran to Red Robin to get us something to eat next.  We’ve never been there before and had a gift card so we decided to stop in.  We were very pleasantly surprised.  The food and service was excellent!

Water with lemon and my turkey burger with guacamole on a whole wheat bun and sweet potato fries!  YUM!

We ran out of there and headed to Mia’s dentist appointment.  This is not something I was looking forward too because the past two visits have been anything but pleasant.  However, I know it has to be done, and we literally have *the best* pediatric dentist!  She is actually Mia’s pediatricians wife!!  What a great couple :)

She did surprisingly well!  She was so excited to get a new tooth brush!  Only my kid would get excited over that! HA!  But, she did ask for a sucker afterwards and I had to shush her because, even though we give her sugar free suckers, I didn’t want her telling her *dentist* that!  HAHA :)

They let her play with the suction hose thing, and of course, she thought it was hilarious when it sucked her lips together!  Crazy kid!

Showing off her pearly whites!

I’ve been talking with some of my twitter peeps about running.  This is HUGE because I loathe running.  I just feel like it jars all of my insides and I get all out of breath and am just plain lazy to be totally honest.  But everyone keeps telling my how addicting it is and how good you feel, so I decided it was worth a try.  I downloaded the Couch to 5K app on my phone and we started today.  Surprisingly, I’m still alive and able to tell about it ;)  And even more shocking:  I liked it and plan to keep going!  (Did you just die a little inside, because I did?) 

After the run, I was pooped!
Does anyone have any tips, suggestions or advice for me?

I hope you all have a great day!  I plan to relax with my girl the rest of the night, because tomorrow brings more fun with friends and playtime!