Let me preface this with “Mia is healing well. She has never complained of pain and has never had any pain medicine! She is such a tough little trooper!”
Ok, so, today after work, I was driving home and got a phone. From the surgeon. She started with saying “The part of the node we sent to micro has, so far, come back fine. But. Oh, nothing bad, like cancer. I just want to get that out of the way!”
Well then what in the heck is the “But”???
She continued, “The part that was sent to pathology was lost. They can not find it anywhere.”
Let that sink in for a minute.
You have got to be kidding me? I didn’t even know what to say. Like, the one thing that we were doing the whole entire surgery for was for that ONE part. The one thing that could give us the answer has.been.lost. Is this real life?
Dr. Downard proceeded to tell me that that has NEVER happened before and they had no idea what happened. I asked her how we would ever know if it was or wasn’t cancer. The answer is that, we won’t know. Until further symptoms come up, that is. I have been on the phone with the medical director for Kosair Children’s Hospital and Mia’s pediatrician. The director could only say “he’s very sorry” and that we wouldn’t have to pay a bill. Umm, DUH. I wasn’t going to. TRUST ME. Poor Dr. Kim was trying his best to soothe me, but he knows how I am and I am beyond help. Now, I will never have a peace of mind. I will always have the “possibility of cancer” in the back of my mind.
Y’all, I AM SO OVER 2014. This family has had so much go on. This feels SO unfair. I just can’t understand. I know that God has a plan, but right now, the plan hurts like hell.